


Five Moments Beckett and Ryan Chose to Ignore

by merlins_sister



Category: Castle
Genre: F/M, Friends to Lovers, Romance, future!fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-08-18
Updated: 2012-08-18
Packaged: 2017-11-12 09:29:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,702
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/489370
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/merlins_sister/pseuds/merlins_sister
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"But when I think about some of the things that have passed between us... perhaps I didn't pay any conscious attention to them because I wasn't ready then. Tonight though... tonight it feels completely right." Kevin Ryan, Perfect Timing</p><p>Five moments on Kate and Kevin's path to love. Companion piece to Perfect Timing.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Five Moments Beckett and Ryan Chose to Ignore

1\. Kevin sank deeper into the couch, trying to not wince at the blood and gore on the TV screen. He saw enough of that on the job. Kate, on the other hand, seemed to exorcise those particular work demons by watching horror films, the gorier the better. At least that is what he assumed was the reason. He winced slightly as blood spurted realistically towards the screen. Seriously, she couldn’t be watching this just for pleasure. 

To distract himself he commented, “I’m surprised Castle didn’t want to come when he heard the choice for tonight.”

Kate, cross legged next to him on the couch, shifted slightly but didn’t respond. 

Kevin glanced at her, sensing something in her silence.

“Did he want to come?” 

Kevin sighed slightly before continuing, “Don’t tell me you’re fighting again.”

Kate turned to look at him. “Of course not. And besides I thought you said you can always tell when we are.”

Kevin smiled. “Yeah, well, it has been a bit quiet for you two *to* be fighting, but no guarantee.”

His smile faded in concern when Kate didn’t return it, merely shifting again. 

“Kate, what’s going on?”

“Nothing.”

“Kate...”

She sighed before replying, “You’re right, Castle did want to come.” There was a pause before she continued, “But I asked him not to.”

Kevin held his silence, knowing his surprise was obvious. It was rare for anyone other than her Dad to join them for movie night, but not unheard of, so he knew something else had to be going on.

“This is our thing,” she explained after a moment. “And we haven’t had much time together recently, so I said I would prefer it if he would take a rain check.”

Kate shifted again, obviously feeling awkward. Kevin knew there was no point in commenting that they saw each other virtually every day at work, because that would dismiss their friendship outside of that bond, and he would never do that. And he couldn’t quite stop the rush of pleasure at the thought Kate had prioritised him, them, over time with Castle. Even after all this time as close friends and the hours they had spent together outside of work, especially since Jenny had died, he expected the bond of her partner to be stronger. 

Kate turned to look at him, her eyes vulnerable, as if she was about to bolt emotionally from him; fear that she had made the wrong call, or that she had let slip something she wasn’t ready to discuss by her actions. 

“Well, I think it was a good call,” he said. “Castle would have talked all the way through, commentating on everything. I mean, how can you enjoy a decent decapitation with that going on?”

She smiled at his gentle humour, relaxing back again, turning to flash a broader smile at him as he placed a reassuring hand on hers. For a moment their gazes stayed with each other and Kevin tried to ignore the intense rush of pleasure that ran through him. Kate turned to look at the screen again, and Kevin tried to not think she had moved reluctantly.

“Shh,” she said, “there’s a good bit coming up.”

“Okay,” he said, pulling himself more upright to meet Kate as she settled in a bit closer to him. 

 

2\. Kate sipped on the bottle of beer, leaning as she did so against the wall, waiting for Kevin to choose his shot on the pool table. She could feel the vibrations of the music through the contact, savouring them for a moment as they seemed to shake yet more tension out of her body. 

Going to play pool had been Esposito’s idea, the four of them needing something to focus on after the hard case they had just closed. He and Castle though had lasted only a couple of hours, family commitments calling them both elsewhere, leaving her and Kevin to have a rare play at being competitive. Kevin was so easy going Kate did occasionally wonder what might provoke him into competing with her. Possibly being beaten at pool seemed to have hit the spot, and she wasn’t ashamed to admit she liked pressing the button; she liked seeing the different sides to him, and, even after all this time, she was still discovering that there was so much more to her friend than met the eye.

Kevin had decided on his shot, reaching across the table to take aim at the far corner.

Interesting, Kate pondered, wondering for a moment why he had chosen that shot, before being distracted by the sight of Kevin stretching further, his jeans tightening across his butt as she did so. Kate let her head fall slightly to the side as she took in the view. Kevin really did have a deliciously lithe body when she thought about it.

It took a moment for her to register what she had started to do, but as she did Kate startled away from the wall. 

Bad Kate! No, no, no.

No.

She could not check her friend out. That was wrong. Logically appreciating he was good looking...that was one thing. Checking him out...no.

Just no.

Kate startled again as she realised in her distraction Kevin had played his shot and moved to stand in front of her.

“Your shot,” he said, brow slightly furrowed as he took in what she assumed was her slightly shocked look.

“Right...of course,” she managed, moving towards the table. 

“Don’t you want your cue?”

Kate turned to look at Kevin who now, as well as still managing to look concerned, was also starting to look amused. Doing her best to stalk back in an authoritative manner she picked up her cue, handed Kevin her beer, and strode up to the table.

There really were some things she shouldn’t think about.

 

3\. “Beckett?” Kevin called out as he came into the room. “Lanie got called away...asked me to bring this in to you.” 

Kevin stopped mid stride as Kate turned around, quite clearly undressed to her underwear. Kevin took a slight breath in at the sight. Kate was all svelte athleticism, curves wrapped in red lace, with legs that went on forever even without the aid of those heels that she wore. It was a few moments before Kevin managed to lift his eyes to hers, realising in the moment of surprised gaze meeting surprised gaze that he had been quite clearly enjoying the view.

Spinning around he said, “Sorry! Lanie just asked me to bring the bag in. She didn’t tell me that you might be undressed.” He stuck his arm out so the bag dangled from his hand, moments later the briefest touch of Kate’s hand as she took it off him.”

“Don’t worry about it, Kevin,” Kate replied, the sounds of cloth on skin reassuring Kevin that the next time he saw Kate he wasn’t likely to embarrass himself. “It’s no different to seeing me in a bikini on a beach.”

Kevin knew the words had been said in reassurance and to minimise his embarrassment. Unfortunately all he could think of now was Kate in a bikini, somewhere tropical. It really hadn’t helped. He dug into his memories of mornings after movie nights for Kate in those faded pyjamas that even she seemed to possess.

Nope.

No good. Bikini was still there.

“Kevin, please turn around.”

Taking a deep breath Kevin risked turning back to his friend.

“It’s fine,” she reiterated, still looking slightly embarrassed herself, though there was definitely amusement sneaking in as well.

Kevin opened his mouth to say something, only then noticing how she seemed to be holding her shirt slightly. Could be something wrong with the shirt of course, but Kevin had a feeling that wasn’t the problem.

“You don’t notice it,” he said softly. “The scar.”

Kate looked slightly startled, her hand quickly dropping to her side, her gaze flicking to the top of his chest where she knew his gunshot scar was.

The moment felt awkward and for a moment Kevin wished he hadn’t said anything. But then Kate replied, “You’re probably the first person who isn’t a doctor who has seen it.” She smiled at him. “Don’t know why I still feel so awkward about it. And besides I’ve seen yours.”

“Yeah, but mine can be seen from underneath a tank top. You only get to see yours when...”

Kevin trailed off, deciding describing underwear choices to his friend was a step too far, a blush creeping through his features, an amused eyebrow Kate’s response.

He dipped his head slightly before managing, “You’re a beautiful woman, Kate. No man in his right mind is going to pay any attention to that scar. Or be frightened by what it represents.”

He risked lifting his head, Kate’s gaze soft on him with that look that told him how much his words meant. For a moment he thought he saw a flash of something else, but he wasn’t sure what it was so he decided it was time for a graceful retreat.

“I’m going back to the investigation before I manage to embarrass myself any further,” he said with a smile.

He started to turn away before Kate replied, “You never have to feel embarrassed around me.”

Her smile was broad, and he again got a sense of something else, but it didn’t feel right to explore it now. Instead he nodded his understanding and headed back out, his only thought that maybe his Mom was right; maybe he did need to start going out on some dates again.

 

4\. Kate nodded to yet more of Lanie’s relatives as she sought some peace and quiet from all the attention. When she had agreed to be godmother to Lanie’s son, Jackson, she hadn’t thought it would require her to be on such show. You said a few words in a church, ate a bit of cake, and promised to make sure Baby Parrish stayed on the straight and narrow. She hadn’t expected Lanie’s family to be so interested in her as well. Finding a side door open she stepped out into the cool and calm of the yard, the only other people there the baby who was *meant* to be the centre of attention, and one of her fellow godparents.

She smiled at the sight, Kevin chattering away to their charge, pointing out the plants and their colours as he carried him around, Jackson cooing in that pre-talk way that quite clearly said that of course he was understanding it all. Kevin was always so good with children, and Kate had to admit she occasionally just liked to watch him with them. She supposed coming from such a large family helped – she had no doubt when his eldest sister first had children he would have been expected to do his share of helping. But it was the fact that he would have done so willingly and with ease that she admired. Not all men, or for that matter women, that she knew could manage that.

Kevin caught sight of her by the door. “Hey, are you escaping too?”

“Yeah. Would have been out here sooner but I didn’t have the foresight to nab the baby and move.”

Kevin grinned. “Large christenings have taught me many things, the most important of which is the adult with the baby is the one left alone. You would think it was the other way around but no.”

Kate returned the smile as she walked up to them, her smile spreading at the gurgling, happy greeting from Jackson. “Hey, sweetheart,” she said as she stroked his cheek. “Have you been looking at the pretty colours?” There was an excited affirmation from Jackson before he wobbled back onto Kevin’s shoulder, tiny hand gripping on to his jacket collar, Kevin dropping an affectionate kiss onto his head before lifting his gaze to catch Kate watching him.

“What?”

Kate shrugged slightly. “It suits you.”

Kevin laughed slightly before replying, “I don’t know about that.”

“I do,” Kate replied firmly. “It looks natural, and I know you would make an amazing father.”

His eyes are the brightest blue as he looks at her in surprise.

“You would,” Kate insisted at the look of hesitance on his face. “You would be kind, understanding, supportive...but I don’t think they would get too much passed you either. I think you would find just the right balance.”

There was a blush on Kevin’s cheeks, and Kate can’t help finding some pleasure in her ability to make him blush at the moment.

“Thank you,” he managed. “That means a lot coming from you.”

Kate shrugged again. “Only saying what I believe.”

Kevin’s gaze stayed on her, as if he was trying to work something out. It was Kate’s turn to feel a rush of heat at the intensity of his gaze. She attempted to distract herself by leaning in to Jackson, his attention taking by her action, tiny hand wrapping itself around her fingers. As she watched their godson grip tightly to both of them she had a strange rush of emotion, something that was hard to define, though it prompted the unexpected confession, “I don’t think I’ll ever get to have children.”

Kevin paused in his rocking of Jackson “Why not? I mean, is it something medical...”

“No,” Kate quickly interrupted at the concerned look on Kevin’s face. “At least not to my knowledge. I just don’t think I’ll get this relationship thing sorted out until my eggs have well and truly dried up.” She laughed slightly at her attempt at humour, noticing that Kevin smiled but didn’t join in. She took a deep breath before continuing, “And I don’t think I could do what Lanie’s done and go it alone.”

She expected Kevin to comment, but he held his silence, so that Kate found herself continuing, “And it’s not like it’s a compulsory part of life any more. Plenty of people don’t have children.” She trailed off. “But it would have been nice...”

“You’re talking like it’s all over,” said Kevin. “That’s far from the truth.”

“I know,” Kate replied, looking into concerned eyes. “I just...I just don’t think I’m cut out for relationships.”

“Maybe you’ve...” Kevin started.

“I swear, if the words are ‘not met the right man’ are about to come out of your mouth...”

“Actually I was going to say maybe you’ve not been ready,” Kevin replied calmly. 

“I’m nearly 38, how can I not have been ready?” Kate demanded, knowing the answer before he replied, knowing that he did understand.

“Because you have been through so much. Never mind a relationship; you are self aware enough to know that you couldn’t have given everything to a child whilst you were dealing with the fallout from your past. But your time will come. And when it does you will have a good relationship, and you will be a great Mom. Trust me.”

Kate smiled at his reassurance, feeling the warmth of his confidence rush through her. For a moment their gazes stayed with each other, something that happened increasingly frequently. Kate thought occasionally it should freak her out, but it never did. 

“Well, there is still every chance that I won’t be ready in time,” she said more calmly, adding as much lightness as she could. “So I hate to add my voice to those telling you to date again but if you don’t I won’t get to have any children to fuss over.”

Kate realised a moment later there was another way of interpreting her words, Kevin not far behind, joining her in gentle laughter. The moment was strangely, comfortably awkward, and Kate wondered with who else in her life could she experience such a sensation.

He really would make an amazing father, an amazing partner, Kate thought. He deserved someone who wanted a relationship, a family, who knew how to make that work. She just hoped he would find her.

Jackson’s excited squeal at the sight of a butterfly called both Kate and Kevin back to their surrounding, moments later his mother’s voice pulling them back even harder.

“So, this is where you three have been hiding?” she commented with a grin before she looked around where they were standing. “This is actually perfect for a photo.”

“Lanie!” Kate and Kevin exclaimed in protest.

Lanie waived their protest away as she pulled her camera from her purse. “Kate, can you step in closer to the boys and face me?”

Kate sighed in resignation, exchanging an amused glance with Kevin, as she did as Lanie asked. In moments the photo was done to Lanie’s satisfaction. As she swapped the camera for her son with Kevin, she commented on the image, “Now don’t you all just look perfectly gorgeous together.”

Kate tried very hard to not think that they did.

 

5\. Kevin nodded a greeting as Peterson, the journalist who had helped them on their case, walked passed, a clear determination on his face as he headed for Kate at her desk. It was a brave man who asked Kate Beckett out, but he obviously thought he had a shot.

Kevin watched as Kate smiled a greeting, Peterson leaning forward as he started talking to her. Whatever he said made her laugh, Peterson gaining enough confidence to take a seat in Castle’s chair. Peterson was, Kevin supposed, Kate’s type. Tall, lanky good looks, a nice guy under a smart arse persona. Which probably meant that she would say yes to whatever he proposed – drink, dinner, maybe a movie?

Kevin felt a slight pang at the last thought. Movies had become their thing, and it felt strange to think of someone else encroaching on to the shared bond. But the reality was that if either of them wanted that long term relationship they talked about then at some point things would need to change, Kevin not seeing any long term partners being comfortable with the amount of time he and Kate spent together. 

He shook his head slightly at his distraction, instead forcing his focus on locking up his files, and starting his computer on its shut down before he went to the locker room for his coat. Returning to his desk to do a final check and grab his keys, he slowed in surprise at the sight of Kate sitting on the edge, legs swinging.

“Hey,” she said, a smile on her face.

“Hey,” Kevin replied unable to get rid of the surprised look off his face.

“What’s wrong?”

“Umm...I didn’t expect to see you here when I got back.”

“Why?” Kate asked, her nose slightly wrinkled in her confusion at his reaction.

“Umm... I got the impression that Peterson came over to ask you out,” Kevin explained.

“He did,” Kate replied simply. “I said no.” Seeing his look of surprise increase she continued, “Oh don’t tell me you’re channelling Lanie now. I am allowed to say no.”

“Of course you are,” Kevin replied quickly. “And I would be the last person to push anyone to date when they didn’t want to. But...I just kinda assumed you would say yes.”

“Why?” Her nose wrinkled again.

“Umm... because he seemed your type.”

“My type?” she snorted, amusement obvious. “I can’t have dated enough for you to have picked up on a type.”

“Umm...well...”

Kate’s eyebrow went up and Kevin suddenly realised that he might be getting in a bit deep to this conversation.

“So, what is my type, Detective Ryan?” 

She sounded amused, but that eyebrow was usually a good warning of other things, which meant all that Kevin could manage was, “Umm... you seem to like them tall.”

“Tall?” 

Her amusement was very open now, and Kevin relaxed a bit, adding, “Nice guys.”

“Tall, nice guys?” She glanced at him before adding, “Sure you don’t want to add ‘emotionally unavailable’ or ‘with issues’. Because that is probably a better reflection of my type.”

Kevin knew that eyebrow was telling him something, and it was obviously a sign of the ongoing anxiety Kate had around relationships.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to...”

Kate waved away any further explanation. “It’s okay. I do get what you mean. But just because he seems like the guys I have dated since you’ve known me, doesn’t mean I would want to go out with him. Maybe I would rather spend time with you.” With her last words she hung her head, not quite able to meet his eyes.

Kevin couldn’t help the smile on his face at her response but managed, “You do realise one or both of us will need to date at some point, or you and I are going to be making one weird joint application to a retirement home.”

She turned to look at him, a grin on her face. “There are worse fates,” she said. “I’d let you win at the wheelchair races.”

Kevin rolled his eyes before asking, “So, what do you want to do?”

“I was just going to suggest we grab some food. Where do you want to go?”

Kevin considered suggesting the jazz club that Jim Beckett had told him about, but nixed the idea on the grounds that a) he still wanted to see if he could get Esposito there, and b) only the Beckett family could have a complicated relationship around music, something he wasn’t ready to wade into the middle of.

“How about Indian?” he suggested.

“Chinese?” Kate counter proposed.

“Split the difference...Thai?”

Kate nodded her agreement before, with one last swing of her legs, she hopped off the edge of his desk. They ambled to the elevator, pulling coats on as they moved, Kevin savouring the look of surprise on Kate’s face as he offered her his arm. She looked slightly uncertain before she slid her arm through his, the brightest wattage of a smile on her face as she got comfortable with the action.

And neither of them cared about the looks that their colleagues were throwing them, or the gossip that would percolate around the precinct. They were just friends, who liked being with each other. Nothing more.

What else could it be?


End file.
